Spicey Popcorn Chicken O'Nuggets

A Tasty Treat For Hungry eRAICers:

Next to verifying the credentials of prospective White House interns, administering LARTs to MMFools is the most strenuous activity you can participate in. And, after a long day of fighting the Evil Ones Who Are Also Really Stupid, inputting targetting coordinates for KlooMissiles™, and deciding whether or not to use the optional KlooTonium™ warheads, what does the hungry eRAICer crave most? Spicey Chicken , of course!

So, in the public interest, the Spicey Chicken Cartel (TinSCC) is publishing the "Official Spicey Chicken Cartel (TinSCC) Recipe for Spicey Popcorn Chicken O'Nuggets", thoughtfully provided by Chris (SCC Unit# 86, "Help control the MMF population. Have your MMFool spayed or neutered." with modifications by me.

NOTE: If you see a paragraph which looks like this, it is a warning and should not be ignored.

NOTE: This is a real recipe, seasoned with a pinch of the wit and humor of the RAIC (for added flavor). It is not being offered for sale at any price, whether via MLM or other means.

And Now, the Recipe:

A good way to make basic chicken nuggets/popcorn chicken, takes about 15 minutes to prepare, 25 minutes to cook.

1) The (non)secret is in how you cut the chicken, really. Cut nugget size chunks of fresh chicken breast for nuggets, and marble size chunks for popcorn chicken. I usually take fairly painstaking efforts to remove as much fat from the chicken as possible.

2) Use your favorite flavor of Shake-n-Bake breading (not glazes.) Southern fried or Original/crispy blend both work well for this. (Italian works, but tastes a bit strange and we'll be leaning a bit in that direction with our spice tweaks anyway.)

Don't apply the S&B quite yet, we'll be tweaking it a bit shortly.

Depending on how much chicken you are preparing, use half/all of one packet of S&B. Half a packet is fine for an ordinary 2-person serving, altho not quite enough for a 3 person serving of popcorn chicken. A full packet can usually be used to prepare enough chicken for about 6 people.

Remember, if you are only going to use half a packet, separate that half out before you start applying it to chicken.

NOTE: Never attempt to store Shake and Bake for reuse (or anything for that matter) if it has been in contact with chicken (unless you enjoy getting a bout of salmonella.)

3) Spice tweaks. This varies to taste, but I often use the Southern Fried S&B variant. I usually add italian seasoning (about 1 tsp/full packet of S&B) and roughly the same amount of crushed chili pepper (again, 1 tsp/full packet) to jazz it up. This makes a dry, bitter (tasty) little heat. It's a good little burn, but nothing that will assassinate guests. I'd rate it approximately medium on the restauraunt scale.

[This is OK for the normal person - however, for the real eRAICer, this would be such a wimpy recipe, spice-wise. So, if you don't really need those taste buds anymore, just add a liberal amount of cayenne pepper - about 1 tsp/full packet would just about do it. {Hint for MMFools: If you want to be considered a "R33L L33T k3w1 d00d", Add 1 POUND! Then ADD IT AGAIN!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!} Of course, if you are not aware of just what cayenne pepper does to a recipe (or your mouth), you should start off easy. -Ed]

NOTE: The above "advice" on cayenne pepper is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. If you tend to take everything literally, then you might not want to add the cayenne pepper. If, however, you are an MMFool, the above advice should be followed to the letter.

I'll usually apply a bit of ordinary pepper as well, but usually when the chicken is ready on the sheet.

If you want a chunkier breading vaguely similar to [deleted -Ed] extra tasty crispy batter, you can coarsly crush croutons (oooh alliteration!) and add it to the S&B mix before applying to chicken.

4) Wet chicken, drop a bit in bag, shake bag so as to coat chicken, place chicken on cookie sheet, repeat. Standard S&B Shuffle.

If you want more granularity in the batter, sprinkle (some of) the remaining breading over the chicken. This will make the breading a little coarser.

5) Bake in oven at 350° F (175° C) for minutes.

NOTE: Bake the chicken in the oven, not your head! Unless, of course, you are an MMFool, in which case just ignore this warning.

6) Serve and enjoy.

The nice thing about this tasty recipe is that it's so much healthier, lighter, and has a nicer, sharper taste than the stuff [deleted -Ed] passes off as chicken.

And you don't have to ruin your fries either...

Go to recipe #  1   2   3

Eat More Spicey Chicken!

* "There is no Spicey Chicken Cartel."

The Spicey Chicken Cartel (TinSCC) does not engage in animal testing. All our tests are performed on human subjects (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).