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The Spicey Chicken Cartel: Feb 2003 Update

In this new feature (which will be updated whenever I feel like it!), I will be bringing to you, the loyal ravenous readers of this site, updated information, news bits, and unsubstantiated rumors about those who persist in sticking their faces into tanks full of hungry piranha and going "boogle boogle", the MMPhoolz.

"Women Helping Women" Cop Pleas Feb.2003
In this report, 6 of the 12 women arrested as part of a 'gifting club' called "Women Helping Women" have agreed to cop pleas in exchange for NOT having to spend a lot of time as residents of the California Prison System. Instead, they will be serving hundreds... AND HUNDREDS... of hours in community service, aiding non-profit programs that help women in need. What wondrous irony... a group of thieving schemers call themselves "Women Helping Women" end up doing just that.

"North Wind" Begins to Blow Feb.2003
When you think of Jamaica, you think of: warm sandy beaches, beautiful water, running around barefoot, eating jerk chicken, listening to reggae music, guys with dreadlocks smoking a little 'ganja', and... a PYRAMID SCHEME called "North Wind"?!?

You got that right. It appears that one Mr. Winston Gilling, who apparently thinks he is in the land of e-Gypped, has started a new get-rich-quick scheme. It is so successful, he claims to have made over $30,000 (about $800 US) so far. Surely, an opportunity too good to pass up... NOT!

Anyway, if you are interested, you can read about it right here.

From Sea to Shining Sea... "Gifting Club" organizers BUSTED! Jan.2003
First, it was Sacramento. Now, it is Waldo County (Waldo County?!?). Organizers of so-called "Gifting Clubs" are being presented with their heads on silver platters, courtesy of Johnnie Law. The Maine AG has sued 29 pyramid organizers, after a disgruntled 'dinner' guest filed a complaint.

I guess that goes to show that you should always offer a Vegetarian alternative.

FTC Lays The Smack Down on the 7 Nasty Scammerz! Feb.2002
After years of seeming inactivity, the FTC finally takes a stand, and administers a Federal clue-by-4 to seven scammin' spammers! Yes, Virginia, there IS a LART!

Read All About It, right here.

MMPhool Pacheco Given a Spanking by the Feds!! Feb.2002
Yes you heard it right! Fernando Pacheco, aka "Frank" Pacheco, aka "Keith" Pacheco, dba "E-Solutions" and "E-Solutions 101", has been handed his ass by the FTC and the US District Court in Rhode Island. Mr. Pacheco, whose business practices included raping open SMTP relays and sending "revenge spams" against those who complained, joined the ranks of those who stick their faces into tanks of hungry piranha and go "boogle boogle" when he harvested the email addresses from the Make Money Fast Hall of Humiliation web boards, and sent out "As Seen on National TV!" chain letters to everyone, including the email account of the Wing-Master for the Spicey Chicken Cartel. For those who believe nothing until they see it in writing, you can read the Final Judgement and Order For a Permanent Injunction.

FTC Declares Chain Letters "100% ILLEAGEL" Feb.2002
In a statement certain to send legions of would-be "Internet Entrepeneurs" scrambling for cover, the FTC released a statement clarifying it's position on the legality of so-called "chain letter" schemes. These letters describe different ways that, by paying a small sum of money to several people, you can become the next Ken Lay and earn an income in 3 months' time greater than the GNP of Afghanistan.

"This chain letter deceptively claims the program is legal and urges recruits who question its legitimacy to contact the FTC's Associate Director for Marketing Practices. Well, I am the Associate Director for Marketing Practices," said Eileen Harrington, "and these chain letters are illegal."

There you have it, folks. How much clearer can it be?

Eat More Spicey Chicken!

* "There is no Spicey Chicken Cartel."

The Spicey Chicken Cartel (TinSCC) does not engage in animal testing. All our tests are performed on human subjects (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).

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