About The Spicey Chicken Cartel

By now I bet you are wondering, "What is this Spicey Chicken Cartel thing all about?" Well, you could read the site and get a pretty good idea, but for those who want the quick & dirty answer, read on, and everything will become clear to you.

I have decided to use an FAQ (Q&A) format for this page, as I haven't used it for any other pages so far.

Q: Why the "Spicey Chicken Cartel"?
A: You can find the answer under "history". However, I like to think of the "Spicey Chicken" as representing the MMFool turkey, who thought he was soaring with the eagles, falling in flames from the sky after his ISP's abuse desk LARTs him, to go KUNG-PAO! smack into the ground.

Q: "Spicey" is mis-spelled! Shouldn't it be "Spicy" instead?
A: "Spicey" it is, and "Spicey" it shall remain. It may not get me elected Vice-President, but I like it. You say "potato", Dan Quayle says "potatoe"...

Q: Why the awful colors?
A: This is a site that parodies MMF and other pyramid-scheme Web pages. Well, if you look at the average MMF page, you will see: Garish, clashing colors; Lots of CAPITAL LETTERS AND VERI BAHD SPELNIG!!!11 And PUNCTUATION!!!!!!11 And spinning $$$ and other ANIMATED GRAPHICS!!!!! So, I decided to make the color schemes on the pages part of the parody. If I have made a mistake, then it would be a parody error.

Q: Who appointed you a net.cop?
A: No one. I do not wear a net.badge, carry a net.gun, or write net.tickets. Think of me more as a net.neighborhood-watch type of guy. You put MMF on the 'Net, I (and the millions -- And MILLIONS -- of the SCC's fans) will -- and I mean WILL -- ask your ISP to lay the smack down on your Roody-Poo, Candy [deleted - ed] so hard you'll never -- and I mean NEVER -- want to hear "You've Got Mail!" ever again!

Q: Who told you you could downgrade my Web pages?
A: Unless you provide me with your userid/password to your Web site, I can't downgrade your pages. And, if you were to give me access, I would most likely delete the pages instead of just downgrading them... Oh, you meant "denigrate" your pages! Well, let's see... You were promoting an illegal MMF scheme, you obviously can't spell worth a damn, you are either blind or you are trying to make the rest of us the same way, you load up your MMF page with hideous animated graphics and MIDI files that take forever to open... oh, and yeah, your web design skills suck, too.

Q: Why are you going after MMF? There are so many more important things (guns, porn, hate speach, Beanie Babies) to worry about!
A: If those things both you, then go after them. I choose to go after MMF. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, and all that.

Q: Is WhAt YoUr d01nG 100%%% L3AgL3 d0oD???
A: Yes. Is your keyboard 100% working right? How about that grey non-viable tissue mass between your ears?

Q: You shut down my Internet! I am going to Sue You! And MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!!!
A: First of all, it is not "your" Internet. It belongs to all of us. And I did not shut down your account or Web site -- your ISP did. So, if you have any questions, take it up with your ISP. And, by the way, you might want to actually read that page that talks about "Acceptable Use" or "Terms of Service".

Q: Prove to me that MMF is illegal! Can you, huh? HUH???
A: Yes. However, I have decided to leave it as an exercise for you to find the various places on the Web that talk about the illegality of MMF. (Hint: you might try one of the other sites on ga.to - and I'll leave it up to you to figure out which one!)

Q: Are you related to that "Rolf" and "Sissypants" character? Steve Martell RULEZZZ!!!
A: "Rolf" and "Sisyphus" are, to the best of my knowledge, 2 distinct and separate individuals. And, no, I am not related to them, to the best of my knowledge. Also, unlike the one you have picked as your idol, neither of them have ever committed unnatural acts with those farm animals.

Q: I H8 Yu0U!!! I HaX0Rd Yu0UR A0L!! Yu0U SuX AnD R N0T eL33T l1K3 M3!!!!!11
A: Hmmm... This is your brain... This is your brain on MMF... Any questions?

Q: Can I hire you to design my Web site?
A: Sure. Especially if your site advertises welding goggles! However, there are many others more qualified to design Web sites than I.

Eat More Spicey Chicken!

* "There is no Spicey Chicken Cartel."

The Spicey Chicken Cartel (TinSCC) does not engage in animal testing. All our tests are performed on human subjects (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).