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David Rhodes' Mailbag: The Rest of the Story

Our latest feature is: Tales from the Dave Rhodes mailbag.

Dave Rhodes, as you may know, has a website up at this location because he was arrested for starting the infamous six sucker chain letter. As a condition of his parole, he had to put that website up. He recently struck up a friendship with the MMF Hall of Humiliation's own BobCat, and agreed to share a sampling of the emails he has received, to further the goal of educating people as to the 100% ILLEGALITY of MMF chain letters and pyramid schemes. BobCat graciously wrote up an article based on those emails, and forwarded it to me.

Of course, at the Spicey Chicken Cartel, we have ways of discovering The Truth That Is Out There. So, being the good little Rhodes Scholars we are, we took the Sooper Sekkrit brain-wave interception technology out of Karen Liddell's begonia patch, and put it in the headrest of David Rhodes' computer chair, so we could intercept his very innermost thoughts and report to you - What He Was Really Thinking.

[Rating: C&C]

[Ed note - I am serious. Please remove all liquid refreshments from your mouth, and lock up the family furry animals, before reading this. Also, if you don't know the meaning of the words "sarcasm" and "satire", look them up in a dictionary before complaining to me about this.]

D.E. wrote:

Dave responded by thanking him for his email and confirming that it is illegal. [This is What He Was Really Thinking: "You posted these as a test?!? What the hell skool do you go to - REFORM school?"]

Another guy wrote:

Dave politely declined and thanked him for his email. [This is What He Was Really Thinking: "Knowing the European press, my statements would be twisted into an endorsement of pyramid schemes, and an allegation that my prosecution was a CIA plot to cover-up the fact that Dubya was in fact behind the JFK assassination. Jeesh!"]

S.W. wrote:

Dave confirmed the facts were as S.W. presented them. [This is What He Was Really Thinking: "Yeah, you are going to tell everyone how I claimed to make a lot of $$$$MONEY$$$$$ , but you don't say anything about the 10-year prison term, having to listen to Big Bubba's horrid snoring every night, the rotten prison food, no 'Spice Channel' on the cable..."]

An anonymous writer sent this in:

Dave wrote a response - it was mostly "What are you talking about?" and told him that he didn't make any $$$$MONEY$$$$$ - he said he made $$$$MONEY$$$$$ as a lie to make sure the chain letter was successful. But it wasn't. Dave went to prison and really didn't make any $$$$MONEY$$$$$ . [This is What He Was Really Thinking: "What the hell was he smoking when he wrote that?!?"]

J.T. wrote:

Dave confirmed to J.T. that it is him, and he did create this chain letter and it is illegal. He pointed him to the FTC's website showing the chain letters are indeed illegal. [This is What He Was Really Thinking: "Silly fool - if you didn't believe what you read on my site, why would you write me to confirm it? Why not read the thousands... AND THOUSANDS... of other articles out there that say the same thing - that these things are ILLEGAL?"]

S.S. wrote:

Dave confirmed this. [This is What He Was Really Thinking: "No, I am not really me. I am actually an agent of the Big Energy Trading Companies, to convince people not to participate in these schemes because they might actually make some $$$$MONEY$$$$$ , and Big Business wants to keep all the $$$$MONEY$$$$$ for itself."]

A guy named P wrote:

Dave corrected him by showing that the chain letters are illegal in the UK as well, and that he got a 10 year sentence for mail fraud. He was able to get out a little early, but didn't mention when. Chain letters which promote pyramid schemes are illegal in the UK as well as most of the rest of the world. [This is What He Was Really Thinking: "Aye, P, you do need to consider something else. Like, say, getting a REAL JOB. You know, one where you do REAL WORK for a REAL EMPLOYER. And, if you do that, you could be making REAL $$$$MONEY$$$$$ in as little as TWO WEEKS! And, it is 100% LEGAL, TOO!"]

Dave, we appreciate you sharing your experience and emails with us. Even those who scam in the past do not have to keep scamming. People can and do go straight. And, for the rest of you, should you ever be tempted to follow in Mr. Rhodes' footsteps, remember to

Read This! Then READ IT AGAIN!!!1

Eat More Spicey Chicken!

* "There is no Spicey Chicken Cartel."

The Spicey Chicken Cartel (TinSCC) does not engage in animal testing. All our tests are performed on human subjects (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).

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