MMF Without Phoolz

There is a reason we at the Spicey Chicken Cartel call those who send pyramid scheme chain letters out, or post them on chat boards/web sites, "MMFools". It is, simply, because they are Fools. Or, at least their actions are Foolish. We have never accused these folks of being 'the sharpest knife in the kitchen', in fact their average wit is duller than your kindergartener's plastic play scissors.

This truism about MMFools was displayed, once again, in an MMF I recently received. It is a typical "5-reports" style MMF, and normally I would simply LART the sender's account into e-Oblivion (through their ISP abuse desk), delete the email, and move on with my life. However, this one is a good example of why MMFools should never, ever be trusted alone with an Internet-connected PC.

So, Without Further Ado: The Letter!

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To: Cathy @ web2.mylinuxisp.com
Subject: Did you get your cash?
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PARENTS OF 15 - YEAR OLD - FIND $71,000 CASH HIDDEN IN HIS CLOSET!

Does this headline look familiar? Of course it does. You most likely have just seen this story recently featured on a major nightly news program (USA). And reported elsewhere in the world (including my neck of the woods - New Zealand). His mother was cleaning and putting laundry away when she came across a large brown paper bag that was suspiciously buried beneath some clothes and a skateboard in the back of her 15-year-old sons closet. Nothing could have prepared her for the shock she got when she opened the bag and found it was full of cash. Five-dollar bills, twenties, fifties and hundreds - all neatly rubber-banded in labelled piles.

"My first thought was that he had robbed a bank", says the 41-year-old woman, "There was over $71,000 dollars in that bag -- that's more than my husband earns in a year".

The woman immediately called her husband at the car-dealership where he worked to tell him what she had discovered.He came home right away and they drove together to the boys school and picked him up. Little did they suspect that where the money came from was more shocking than actually finding it in the closet.

As it turns out, the boy had been sending out, via E-mail, a type of "Report" to E-mail addresses that he obtained off the Internet. Everyday after school for the past 2 months, he had been doing this right on his computer in his bedroom.

"I just got the E-mail one day and I figured what the heck, I put my name on it like the instructions said and I started sending it out", says the clever 15-year-old.

The E-mail letter listed 5 addresses and contained instructions to send one $5 dollar bill to each person on the list, then delete the address at the top and move the others addresses Down , and finally to add your name to the top of the list.

The letter goes on to state that you would receive several thousand dollars in five-dollar bills within 2 weeks if you sent out the letter with your name at the top of the 5-address list. "I get junk E-mail all the time, and really did not think it was going to work", the boy continues.

Within the first few days of sending out the E-mail, the Post Office Box that his parents had gotten him for his video-game magazine subscriptions began to fill up with not magazines, but envelopes containing $5 bills.

"About a week later I rode [my bike] down to the post office and my box had 1 magazine and about 300 envelops stuffed in it. There was also a yellow slip that said I had to go up to the [post office] counter.

I thought I was in trouble or something (laughs)". He goes on, "I went up to the counter and they had a whole box of more mail for me. I had to ride back home and empty out my backpack because I could not carry it all".

Over the next few weeks, the boy continued sending out the E-mail."The money just kept coming in and I just kept sorting it and stashing it in the closet, barely had time for my homework".He had also been riding his bike to several of the banks in his area and exchanging the $5 bills for twenties, fifties and hundreds.

"I didn't want the banks to get suspicious so I kept riding to different banks with like five thousand at a time in my backpack. I would usually tell the lady at the bank counter that my dad had sent me in to exchange the money] and he was outside waiting for me.One time the lady gave me a really strange look and told me that she would not be able to do it for me and my dad would have to come in and do it, but I just rode to the next bank down the street (laughs)."

Surprisingly, the boy did not have any reason to be afraid.The reporting news team examined and investigated the so-called "chain-letter" the boy was sending out and found that it was not a chain-letter at all.In fact, it was completely legal according to US Postal and Lottery Laws, Title 18, Section 1302 and 1341, or Title 18, Section 3005 in the US code, also in the code of federal regulations, Volume 16, Sections 255 and 436, which state a product or service must be exchanged for money received.

Every five-dollar bill that he received contained a little note that read, "Please send me report number XYX".This simple note made the letter legal because he was exchanging a service (A Report on how-to) for a five-dollar fee.

[This is the end of the media release. If you would like to understand how the system works and get your $71,000 - please continue reading. What appears below is what the 15 year old was sending out on the net - YOU CAN USE IT TOO - just follow the simple instructions].

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
BE FINANCIALLY FREE LIKE OTHERS WITHIN A YEAR!!! Before you say "Bull", please read the following. This is the letter you have been hearing about on the news lately. Due to the popularity of this letter on the Internet, a national weekly news program recently devoted an entire show to the investigation of this program described below, to see if it really can make people money. The show also investigated whether or not the program was legal. Their findings proved once and for all that there are "absolutely NO Laws prohibiting the participation in the program and if people can follow the simple instructions, they are bound to make some megabucks with only $25 out of pocket cost".

DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY & RESPECT THIS PROGRAM HAS ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER THAN EVER.

NOTE* follow the directons below, I hade best results the second time when I hired a bulk email service in addition to following the reports instructions. I have been asked many times to recommend whom to use. However, after using one particular company many, many times and had absolutely no problems with them. I took it upon myself to discuss the possibility of a discount offer. They will send 1 million email offers for $250 or 5 million for $1000.. Remember this is recommended not Required. In order for all of us to be successful, many, many emails must be sent so that the returns are many. I have been extremely successful using the this company. They send out the offers, and all I do is accept money for reports, then I send back to the people as soon as possible

This is what one had to say: "Thanks to this profitable opportunity. I was approached many times before but each time I passed on it. I am so glad I finally joined just to see what one could expect in return for the minimal effort and money required. To my astonishment, I received total $610,470.00 in 21 weeks, with money still coming in".

Pam Hedland, Fort Lee, New Jersey.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Here is another testimonial: "This program has been around for a long time but I never believed in it. But one day when I received this again in the mail I decided to gamble my $25 on it. I followed the simple instructions and walaa .... 3 weeks later the money started to come in. First month I only made $240.00 but the next 2 months after that I made a total of $290,000.00. So far, in the past 8 months by re- entering the program, I have made over $710,000.00 and I am playing it again. The key to success in this program is to follow the simple steps and NOT change anything."

More testimonials later but first,

+++ PRINT THIS NOW FOR YOUR FUTURE REFERENCE +++

+++ Order all 5 reports shown on the list below +++
For each report, send $5 CASH, THE NAME & NUMBER OF THE REPORT YOU ARE ORDERING and YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS to the person whose name appears ON THAT LIST next to the report.

MAKE SURE YOUR RETURN ADDRESS IS ON YOUR ENVELOPE TOP LEFT CORNER in case of any mail problems.

When you place your order, make sure you order each of the 5 reports. You will need all 5 reports so that you can save them on your computer. Within a few days you will receive, vie e-mail, each of the 5 reports from these 5 different individuals. Save them on your computer so they will be accessible for you to send to the 1,000's of people who will order them from you. Also make a floppy of these reports and keep it on your desk in case something happens to your computer.

IMPORTANT - DO NOT alter the names of the people who are listed next to each report, or their sequence on the list, in any way other than what is instructed below in step "1 through 6" or you will loose out on majority of your profits. Once you understand the way this works, you will also see how it does not work if you change it. Remember, this method has been tested, and if you alter, it will NOT work!!! People have tried to put their friends/relatives names on all five thinking they could get all the money. But it does not work this way. Believe us, we all have tried to be greedy and then nothing happened. So Do Not try to change anything other than what is instructed. Because if you do, it will not work for you.

Remember, honesty reaps the reward!!!
1.... After you have ordered all 5 reports, take this advertisement and REMOVE the name & address of the person in REPORT # 5. This person has made it through the cycle and is no doubt counting their fortune. 2.... Move the name & address in REPORT # 4 down TO REPORT #5.
3.... Move the name & address in REPORT # 3 down TO REPORT #4.
4.... Move the name & address in REPORT # 2 down TO REPORT #3.
5.... Move the name & address in REPORT # 1 down TO REPORT #2
6.... Insert YOUR name & address in the REPORT # 1 Position.

PLEASE MAKE SURE you copy every name & address ACCURATELY!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Take this entire letter, with the modified list of names, and save it on your computer. DO NOT MAKE ANY OTHER CHANGES. Save this on a disk as well just in case if you loose any data. To assist you with marketing your business on the internet, the 5 reports you purchase will provide you with invaluable marketing information which includes how to send bulk e-mails legally, where to find thousands of free classified ads and much more. There are 2 Primary methods to get this venture going:

METHOD #1: BY SENDING BULK E-MAIL LEGALLY
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Let's say that you decide to start small, just to see how it goes, and we will assume You ands 100,000 orders for Report #5.

THAT'S 100,000 ORDERS TIMES $5 EACH=$500,000.00 (half million). Your total income in this example is: 1..... $50 +2..... $500 + 3.....$5,000 + 4..... $50,000 + 5..... $500,000........Grand Total=$555,550.00

NUMBERS DO NOT LIE. GET A PENCIL & PAPER AND FIGURE OUT THE WORST POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND NO MATTER HOW YOU CALCULATE IT, YOU WILL STILL MAKE A LOT OF MONEY!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

REMEMBER FRIEND, THIS IS ASSUMING ONLY 10 PEOPLE ORDERING OUT OF 5,000 YOU MAILED TO. Dare to think for a moment what would happen if everyone or half or even one 4th of those people mailed 100,000e-mails each or more? There are over 150 million people on the Internet worldwide and counting. Believe me, many people will do just that, and more!

METHOD #2: BY PLACING FREE ADS ON THE INTERNET
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Advertising on the net is very very inexpensive and there are hundreds of FREE$$$$$$$ YOUR SUCCESS GUIDELINES $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Follow these guidelines to guarantee your success:

If you do not receive at least 10 orders for Report #1 within 2 weeks, continue sending e-mails until you do.

After you have received 10 orders, 2 to 3 weeks after that you should receive 100 orders or more for REPORT #2. If you did not, continue advertising or sending e-mails until you do.

Once you have received 100 or more orders for Report #2, YOU CAN RELAX, because the system is already working for you, and the cash will continue to roll in! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: Every time your name is moved down on the list, you are placed in front of a Different report. You can KEEP TRACK of your PROGRESS by watching which report people are ordering from you. IF YOU WANT TO GENERATE MORE INCOME SEND ANOTHER BATCH OF E-MAILS AND START THE WHOLE PROCESS AGAIN. There is NO LIMIT to the income you can generate from this business!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++n Chicago. I am an accountant with a major U.S. Corporation and I make pretty good money. When I received this program I grumbled to Jody about receiving "junk mail". I made fun of the whole thing, spouting my knowledge of the population and percentages involved. I "knew" it wouldn't work. Jody totally ignored my supposed intelligence and few days later she jumped in with both feet. I made merciless fun of her, and was ready to lay the old "I told you so" on her when the thing didn't work. Well, the laugh was on me! Within 3 weeks she had received 50 responses. Within the next 45 days she had received total $ 147,200.00....all cash! I was shocked. I have joined Jody in her "hobby".

Mitchell Wolf, Chicago, Illinois

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Not being the gambling type, it took me several weeks to make up my mind to participate in this plan. But conservative that I am, I decided that the initial investment was so little that there was just no way that I wouldn't get enough orders to at least get my money back". "I was surprised when I found my medium size post office box crammed with orders. I made $319,210.00 in the first 12 weeks. The nice thing about this deal is that it does not matter where people live. There simply isn't a better investment with a faster return and so big".

Dan Sondstrom, Alberta, Canada
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"I had received this program before. I deleted it, but later I wondered if I should have given it a try. Of course, I had no idea who to contact to get another copy, so I had to wait until I was e-mailed again by someone else......11 months passed then it luckily came again...... I did not delete this one! I made more than $490,000 on my first try and all the money came within 22 weeks".

Susan De Suza, New York, N.Y

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If you have any questions of the legality of this program, contact the Office of Associate

So, if we are to believe this report, the first thing mommie thought when she found over $71,000 in little Johnnie's closet was that he had robbed a bank. Well, she wasn't too far off. If this report is to be believed, little Johnnie actually robbed over 14,200 people. And, to make matters worse, he then proceeded to launder the money, always keeping the transactions below the $10,000 line that would have put him on the IRS's radar screen. One very smart kid, could he be related to 'The Sopranos'?

However, it is more probable that this story, like the rest of the letter, is patently false. Nothing more than scam-words, designed to convince the mark that participating this this particular form of mail fraud is OK. The kid probably DIDN'T make over $71,000 (hell, he probably didn't make over $7.10), and all the other people mentioned in this letter probably didn't make all the $$$$MONEY$$$$$ they claimed to, either (that is, if they even exist, which they probably don't.)

But, what is most interesting about this email is what is missing. For, you see, it appears that the sender was in such a hurry to get this sent out, so the $$$$MONEY$$$$$ would start rolling in, that s/he/it forgot to include the list of Phoolz - so, there isn't anyone on this letter to send the $$$$MONEY$$$$$ to!

So, in an ironic twist, maybe this letter is 100% LEAGEL, after all.

je je je je je :-)

Hey, 'Cathy589b785600s68[at]bigfoot-in-mouth.com' - can you say "D'oh"? I knew you could...

Eat More Spicey Chicken!

* "There is no Spicey Chicken Cartel."

The Spicey Chicken Cartel (TinSCC) does not engage in animal testing. All our tests are performed on human subjects (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).