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This Is Not A Chain Letter!

One of the problems MMFools face is the USPIS - the US Postal Inspection Service. The folks who work there are Postal Service employees who are actually allowed to carry guns. They handle complaints regarding mail fraud and the like, which is why MMFools don't like them.

So, the MMFools think, What if we can take the 'Mail' out of 'Mail Fraud'. Of course, it would still be 'Fraud', but MMFools tend to see things differently than normal people do. Anyway, some semi-bright bulb came up with the idea that if you used PayPal (or some other such service) to send the $$$$MONEY$$$$$ around, then the USPIS wouldn't get involved and it would then be 100% LEAGEL!!!1

One such dolt sent me the following email - or, to be technically correct, s/he/it sent it to my "webmaster" role address.

Well, I would hate to see the looks on his face when I disabused him of that notion -- so I will let the FTC or the FBI or their local law enforcement authorities do it, instead. In the meantime, we can 'have a bit of sport' with him first - then I will drop the heavy end of the hammer on his scamming [posterior] .

So, Without Further Ado: The Letter!

The email address belongs to an ISP in Brazil, yet the originating IP ( belongs to an ISP out of New York. A quick check shows that the host at that IP is running a service on Port 80, and it appears to be a proxy. Another quick check confirms that it is indeed running an HTTP proxy service, and it is an OPEN proxy, meaning you don't have to authenticate yourself to use it. Mmmm, yummy, another candidate for the Open Relay RBLs...

Actually, I always thought that "raising a child" and "thwacking scammy spammers" were more rewarding.

Wow, $20,000 in Two Weeks! That's a lot of $$$$MONEY$$$$$ !

You mean, all I have to do is to give a ten-spot to the first homeless person I see? If I donate $20 to two (2) PEOPLE, do I make more $$$$MONEY$$$$$ ?

I'm all eyes.

What's a "PayPal"?

So, I am actually only donating $5. Does that mean I get less $$$$MONEY$$$$$ ?

Hmmmm, this sounds like a pyramid scheme / chain letter.

"Donations" or "investments". It has to be one (1) or the other, it can't be both.

You mean, a pyramid scheme with more levels...

You would just [urinate] off twice as many people?

That is, if my prayer is to become a felon and spend time in prison as Big Bubba's bedtime toy...

Wait a sec: I don't see your email address, "", in either slot. Did you forget to follow the simple instructions? Is somebody else going to get your $$$$MONEY$$$$$ ?

Integrity and honesty have nothing to do with this plan, I think, any more than they did with Enron's book-keeping practices.

Actually, 18USC Section 1302 doesn't apply, as this scheme doesn't use the US mails. However, you might want to look at what the FTC has to say on the subject, before you think you're out of the woods. Just because you don't use the US Mail, doesn't mean that a pyramid scheme is legal - in the US, or in Brazil.

FINANCAIL BONDAGE! Is that some new kinky fetish?

$10. Years of my life. The structural integrity of my [rectum] . My self-respect.

Or, I could email "" and with REMOVE THIS IDIOT'S INTERNET ACCESS in the subject line and hit SEND.

S.1618 doesn't apply, either. That is because this bill never became a law, and only laws can be enforced. Of course, it does sound all official and stuff, so I bet you got a warm fuzzy feeling when you read it, didn't you? I mean, you can almost hear Marcia! Marcia! MARCIA! Clark reciting that very paragraph in her summation to the jury during the OJ trial. So, I bet you think you can get away with murder, too, don't you?

Now, wasn't that fun? And a lot cheaper than sending $10 to someone you have never met.

Eat More Spicey Chicken!

* "There is no Spicey Chicken Cartel."

The Spicey Chicken Cartel (TinSCC) does not engage in animal testing. All our tests are performed on human subjects (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).

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